Story Time: A Wild Wolverine Runs into A Bunch of Poisonous Nuts on the Beach

I'm in Miami Beach, it's after 1AM, and I'm starving after a very long and satisfying Orange Bowl. Honestly, I wanted a smoothie. But there was no one making stuff like that so late, which was weird as it was Friday. Bars and small food joints are open til 4 in the morning. I decided to take a quick walk from the hotel to find some eats. There was one Cuban sandwich place that I remembered was good from the last time I was here or there was Burger King. For some strange reason, I liked the idea of Burger King: they sell beer and they're open 24 hours! Heaven, at least until you have to reconcile your decision to eat crap with a very angry stomach the next day.

It didn't look very crowded inside, as I approached the Burger King door. I see an alarming amount (two guys) in red and white athletic gear. And having just come from the Orange Bowl where I got "Go Blue(d)" at, cursed at, and "you're a brave guy to be wearing that shirt," I was a little on edge. Oh, but that's a Yale dri-fit shirt. Why Yale? Whatever. Not a Buckeye fan. Not a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I can take jeering and I can give it back. But I was tired and I wanted to eat. So this was especially welcome relief.

While I'm waiting, must have been for less than a minute, the far door to my right is overflowing with OSU fans. And they were headed my way to meet up with their lone Yale and OSU fans. Okay, so I'm awake now. Here we go, I'm thinking.

OSU guy: "Are you alone?"
Me: Excuse me? Me?
OSU guy: "Yeah, are you by yourself?"
Me: "Yeah..."
OSU guy: "Oh yeah, go ahead."

I'm thinking okay, how nice. He's letting me cut in line, since there are a good 15 of them that have to order.






Me: "Oh okay. Thanks." Pause... "Wait, what? You mean order?"
OSU Lady: "Yeah. Just do it. It's fine...." Then some other words about how terrible the game was and (joking) how this is a once in a lifetime to get free Burger King from your enemy or something.
Me: "Oh, I thought you just meant I could go ahead of you in line."
OSU Guy: No it's fine. Get whatever you want."
Me: "You sure?"
OSU Guy: "Yeah. Get what you want. What do you want?"
Me: pause. "I'll have a whopper..."

After all of that, these guys start chatting me up and vice versa. The guy and his daughters, wife, friends, all their daughters' boyfriends... all these people were with him. I'm asking where they're from (some Ohio, some Tennessee), they're asking me what I do, where I live, etc. Turns out it was one of these girls' 21st birthday. I hugged her(?). I hugged her. Told her she "might have to take a shower after she touched me," since we're mortal enemies and all.

Having traveled with the football team as a Michigan cheerleader, tailgated near opponents as a Michigan student, gone to other schools to visit friends, blah blah blah... These were some (dare I say) really cool people. Nicest fans I've ever come into contact with. Notre Dame fans were the worst rival experience I've had to date (different story but it involves beer cans, being mooned, cursed at, and four year olds). I don't hate ("THE") Ohio State any less. But I do have a much larger respect for their fan base (who dominated the Clemson fans at Sun Life stadium). I previously perceived OSU fans as being a bunch of Walmart fans, frankly. I've been proven wrong to a large degree. I know that every school has asshole fans, even my own. But when you have an archrival, it's like a socially encouraged permission to be a bigot. One learns to hate sports teams/fans on principal and ask questions later. "Are you here by yourself?" was one of the best questions someone has ever asked me.

But We Can: Johnny Manziel, Big Business, Ethics

I'm still all sudsy from my last diatribe about Miley Cyrus reactions...

Today, I'm really confused about the Johnny Manziel NCAA case as it pertains to the fairness of rules. In my previous post I questioned the racial relationship between outrage over Miley Cyrus and the lack of it for pretty much every other black female doing the same thing in the pop music industry (pop, hip hop, and rap alike). I think it's difficult to say what's going on. But if anything is clear, it's that there is an acrid insincerity present in how these situations are viewed and handled when it comes to rules societal (or organizational in Manziel's case).

I am amazed at the discussions and consequent decisions surrounding Johnny Manziel's investigation. Cliff notes version: The Texas A&M quarterback was being investigated for signing autographs in exchange for money. The problem is that NCAA rules do not allow athletes to receive money, gifts, or services for any reason associated with that athlete's association with their college team.

I believe that Johnny Manziel's case decision was too soft based on the current NCAA rules. That's the stubborn pragmatist in me. But I truly question the concept that it should even be considered a big deal in the matter of what is right or just. So what if a kid makes 10K in autographs? A lot of people our age have never seen money like that. Manziel may have, since his family isn't doing too shabby. Maybe it's the reason he got off so easy? Needless to say I've never seen a couple grand for signing my name. Reggie Bush hadn't. Terrelle Pryor never had seen money like that. Neither did Chris Webber. And these are young men we're talking about. Kids thrust into a world of fandom and celebrity that is incredibly overwhelming. These athletes are big deals. You stick them in a totally surreal situation and they are to resist the temptation to do better for themselves? And for what? The team?

College sports is so beyond the team.

"The team" could have been a legitimate argument 50 years ago. But teams are brands now. They're franchises, entities, corporations. These players aren't student athletes. They're athletes who go to school. You can tap dance around it however you want but that's the reality of college sports.

I think the entire issue of college athlete compensation needs to be reexamined and adjusted. Entertaining athletic stipends, allowing personal profit, etc. is a slippery slope. But the reality is that colleges make MILLIONS off these players and their images, literally:

That's Denard Robinson, former Michigan quarterback. Did he get money for this?

Nope.



The insincerity is in the message of the NCAA's rules. You cannot profit off of yourself, your hard work, your talents, your image, your name.


But we can.


Schools make tons of money on jersey sales, concessions, seats sold ($294 is average price for Notre Dame football ticket!), pictures, advertisements, twitter hashtags... the list goes on. And the player gets a degree? Degrees are great. I have one. From an awesome school too. But so do millions of other folks. These athletes do what millions of others can't do. Thus, something about this equation is just wrong. Recent laws guarantee players continuance of scholarship for those injured during activities related to their sport. That's about it. Yet it's entirely normal for big profit college sports to recruit students that wouldn't normally be able to get into some of the institutions they play for. That is, if it weren't for their athletic prowess. And while big name schools have made a concerted effort to individually tailor these players' academic paths for success later, the system often leaves these guys (and girls) high and dry. Of course there are plenty of highly qualified athletes that intellectually meet the standards for attending these schools. It's just that not every football and basketball player is a high achieving neurology major or pre-law student. But it is convenient for announcers and schools to highlight these kinds of players often.

So if the real concern is about players being distracted and fear of discord between teammates, then stop selling jerseys with their names on it. Stop putting their pictures on covers for video games and billboards. Stop deifying them. Quit making them celebrities. And if you refuse, get your scruples together and guarantee them something for their work besides a degree. Their work on the fields and courts isn't earning them good grades. But it sure does get them beat up. Guarantee them that all those concussions they get will be taken care of even after they're done playing for a team. The NFL just settled on a $765 Million resolution like this today. How about a graduation package, with real money, as a humble and deserved "thank you" and a head start for the real world?

Manziel-esque "scandals" have repeated over the decades to various degrees. They will continue to repeat. Yet no one has stood up against the Goliath that is the NCAA. The NCAA needs to handle its business before someone handles it for them. Every Goliath falls.

It's Great To Be

A Michigan Wolverine!

Talk about rising to the occasion... I mean, damn.